A letter to God

It hasn’t been such a bad day but it could have been better I reckon. Although, I thank God for it period. Life is something we take for
granted everyday and we just don’t realize it until so much of it’s been wasted. Some of us never get the chance to realize it at all. Seems
unfair, doesn’t it? When you think back on all the chances we’ve had and some never even had a chance, it makes you wonder why God
gave them to you. What have you done to deserve them? If you’ve done anything, can you even count on your hand how many really
good things you’ve done just out of your heart? Or did you do most of them expecting something in return? I think it’s time we learn from
all the mistakes we’ve made and still have been blessed daily. Because one day God may give up on you just as your family and friends
have, and give those blessings to someone else who appreciates them. And who can we blame when this time comes? Not God, because he
opened our eyes so many times in ways that we knew it was no one but Him. We can only blame ourselves. All I know to do is pray to God
for change in me and my actions. I can’t do it on my own. If I can’t change me I sure can’t change nothing else. So may God be with me in
the rest of this life, and may I be with God. For if I can’t then who? There’s no one else I can depend on in this lifetime. Oh, how I have
forsaken Him in so many ways, and he still loves me. What more could I ask for? I think that’s too much. But that’s the selfishness within
us event though we don’t even think of it that way. God I do love you no matter what. Remold me to be the lady you intended. Maybe if
you would talk to me in a way I understand then I could help you to make me be that lady. I know you have a purpose for me in this world I
just don’t know what. It’s not that I don’t want to do what it is; I just want to know what it is.

If I hadn’t got on satan’s side and started using alcohol and drugs, then all the other bad things I’ve done that came from these addictions I may not have gotten so lost. But even still you were there protecting me when I was the world of sin itself. How could you love someone as and we can’t even appreciate it enough to just give you an hour at a time or even a few minutes at a time unless we had just slid through another wrong doing that we shouldn’t have. So, God in Heaven, do you think that you can clean this broken down, broken hearted and most of all broken spirit girl up one more time and wipe away all those nasty awful things I have done over and over away from my heart and soul? Put your hand on me;
guide me in all the right direction. Or is it just too late for me?

– From a former inmate at Metro State Prison (prison has been closed)