Can a man and woman who are friends agree to an intimate relationship but remain emotionally detached succeed without having ulterior motives? I don’t think this agreement will succeed. Someone will begin to form expectations, how things will be or turn out. Being a man, emotional detachment should come easy, but I don’t understand with most things there’s a thin line. And it varies from person to person.
Women, on the other hand, are emotional beings by nature. I don’t think they can remain emotionally detached. In my limited experience with women,they go in to things with a frame of mind and end up playing things out with their hearts, which is an admirable trait, but it leads back to the question if this is possible.
I don’t know if at the beginning the two people are lying to themselves about what they really want or what the person is going through, whether it’s being on the rebound or just looking for something to make them happy for the moment pushes them to make this agreement. In the end will they be able to remain friends regardless of the outcome?
James Pimedo G06871
KVSP A2/109
PO Box 5101
Delano, CA 93216
What if both parties are already in significant, committed relationships. Is it possible that they can be platonic friends? Yes, of course. Especially if the friends are respectful and supportive of each other’s relationships.
But people don’t become cut off sexually from the rest of the world just because they are taken. If he has a fight with his wife, and his friend offers an understanding shoulder, he can translate that comfort into attraction. If she feels unheard in her relationship, she can find the closeness she shares with her friend, more attractive.
I am absolutely not saying a man and woman can never be friends without having sex. That would be absurd. Of course they can. And of course there are people that mean it when they make a commitment. I’m not saying that it’s a given that anyone is going to cheat on their spouse.
The question is, can a man and woman be friends without there ever being some kind of sexual tension or agenda. What I’m answering is, even good platonic friendships between good people still might have some kind of sexual energy at least some of the time.
That doesn’t mean the friendship isn’t worth it. Sexuality is part of being human. Your sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of or awkward about. You should be able as a mature adult to maintain a healthy marriage or partnership, in addition to continuing to be a sexual independent creature.
The thing here, is realizing that the friends do not have to ACT on any minor occasional sexual energy. Of course you can be friends, but don’t expect your sexuality to just shut itself off. It’s there. So what. Go on with your life and your friendship.
Denying yourself the liberty to be sexually aware is unhealthy. Being honest, being mature, and loving yourself are the keys to all your relationships, including your platonic ones.