Chris Rock marital humor on suriving Marriage

10 Celebrity Marriage Quotes, Jokes and Anecdotes

  1. There are only three things women need in life: food, water and compliments – Chris Rock
  2. Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing… she goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays. – Henry Youngman
  3. My husband and I have never considered divorce… murder sometimes, but never divorce. – Joyce Brothers
  4. My wife and I were happy for 20 years… then we met. – Rodney Dangerfield
  5. Whatever you may look like, marry a man your own age – as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight. – Phyllis Diller
  6. Seems to me the basic conflict between men and women, sexually, is that men are like firemen. To men, sex is an emergency, and no matter what we’re doing we can be ready in two minutes. Women, on the other hand, are like fire. They’re very exciting, but the conditions have to be exactly right for it to occur. – Jerry Seinfield
  7. My wedding was hilarious, because it was in Vegas, and I got married with a blazer and some jeans on. I didn’t do the big massive size wedding with family, friends. It was just like, “Hey, you wanna do it? Okay. Let’s go now.” I think the smarter people that get married realize, Hey, rather than spend all this money on a wedding, let’s put this money into a house, into our future, into our kids. – Kevin Hart
  8. All men should freely use those seven words which have the power to make any marriage run smoothly: You know dear, you may be right – Bill Cosby
  9. Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings… and lawyers.  – Richard Pryor
  10. Marriage is like a coffin and each kid is like another nail. – Homer Simpson




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